Created for People from Orangeburg-Wilkinson High School

In Desperate Need....

Please advise a single mother what to do with a teenage young man who sells drugs and uses drugs.

Perferably men, please give pointers on how to help a young teenage boy....

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Permalink Reply by Gary J. Lewis on December 21, 2008 at 9:11am: Unfortunately there is no tried and true method of steering young men away from a life or dealing and using. The first question you must is why are they dealing and using? Most young men begin dealing to make quick and easy money without regards for the repercussions. Most people begin using out of curiosity, peer pressure or escapism. This young man needs a positive male figure that can and will spend time with him. Someone tangible that he can see and touch to see that there is another way. He doesn't need someone to judge or preach to him though, that will only make him rebel and go deeper into drugs. See if someone from church, boys and girls club, community centers, businesses or better yet family members can spend some time with him. It won't be easy or fast, he may have to hit rock bottom first in order to realize he needs to change. Well, those are my 2 cents, take it for what it's worth.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mr. Lawrence on December 21, 2008 at 10:51am: Thanks, Gary!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Averill Abasi Kiongozi on December 21, 2008 at 3:00pm: Peace .... My friend there is a way ...but it is the road that very few travel ....any young black male out here doing it getting it ....is because he has no idea who he is ...Knowledge of Self is the only way thing that will turn a brother from the negative things he does. Why is he selling drug? When all he's doing is killing his own kind people that look just like him his mom his sister his father ....why? that's easy ...He has no idea who he is ...he is only what his past and present slave master told him he is ....So if I tell your great great great grandma and grandpa that they're nothing ...and treat them as such ...they will only pass it down through the generations up to NOW ...so because he feels he's nothing they is no love for self ....without love for self there is no love for anyone else ...so it's easy to sell drugs, use drugs, rob and kill someone that looks just like him.

My people across the globe has been infected with European Mind Dis-ease... So everything that we desire to be is only what we see in them cause we don't truely know self...so what is on the radio and the tel-lie-vision is what most desire to be ....gangster and so forth ...this is the problem the soultion is KNOWLEDGE OF SELF ....Who are you Black man ....you were not the pimp, the drug dealer, the player, the whoremonger, and all these things before you came to these shores....So one must be taught one's true HISTORY and Not HIS-story about US ...and only than will one come to over-stand that they have DUTY and PURPOSE in this World ...one's Self Esteem is restored..

But it also has to start with the Mother ....for the Mother is the creator of the brain sound travels on water the baby is in water for 9 months ....what is the Mother watching on the Tel-lie-vision? what type of music is she listening to...is it so called hip hop ...gangster music? If so she's creating a drug dealer cause she's the one inputing data into his subconscious mind ( which is the tape recorder of the brain ) what books is she reading? what conversations is she engaging in ? All these factors come into play ....the drug dealer is the effect ....a wise man will look at the cause ....start there so that one could have the desired effect.

One thing we must OVer-stand is that we are not a small people and we can't just look at out current state and through a narrow lens.... THe ? I guess one would ask is ...Averill what is knowledge of SELF? Get at me...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mr. Lawrence on December 22, 2008 at 6:57am: It's always a pleasure getting knowledge of self from you. God Bless.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Harold Farrell Hilliard on December 24, 2008 at 5:55am: There is a method of concern. You must reverse the methods that got him there. Most of us has experienced the bottom out friction of the streets. If not then you will never know the course that one will face or take when expose to that life. Church is out the question. There male figures are the bigger dealers. How can you reverse that effect that got them there? FIRST, you give them a powerful attraction as equal to the attraction they felt when they were lowered into that life. Maybe it was the control of "thinking manly" played a part. Or maybe its the freedom of control and power. If you reverse the issue by giving the power and manly role in something good to the teenager, then the change will reverse automatically. There is no other way. I know. As for drug use. They are followers. Reverse those issues and watch how the drugs fade away also. Kids just want to be notice.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mr. Lawrence on December 27, 2008 at 10:54am: Thanks Harold for the enlightenment. God Bless....; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by johnny best on January 3, 2009 at 3:36pm: well mom, all i can say, and i know it works, is that you have to call on God to help steer him away from a life of dealing & using. God will break all bondages. Trust and believe that. God was there for me at the age of 25 when i was suicidal, and numerous other times when i came close to losing my life or when things didnt go right. Recently I was on the verge of getting evicted because i was $2000 behind in rent. We got new management and they have no records of that debt. I got locked up for the entire month of Sept '08 w/ a 100K bond. I got out for $75 and only got probation. While i was in my electricity was cut off for a while because i didnt pay the bill. When i got out, it was on somehow and no one paid it. And i knew it was off for a while because food had gone bad. I got shot not long after i got out and im still here. And one more thing. Ive been dealing with alcoholism since the age of 18 and God has really brought me to a point where i can say no to drinking. If i dont feel like drinkin, I dont.

So if God will stand by my side, He will stand by your side and your son. You just have to pray for your son. Dealing and using has gotten a strong grip on your son so he probably wont be doing any praying and thats understandable. He's probably lost faith in God at this point. So reassure him that Gods real and that God cares about him. He's probably going to respond with " well if Gods real and He cares, why is He letting me go through this?". Well God lets us go through things so that we call on Him for help instead of calling on flesh or other people. Remeber God is a jealous God. And God will never forsake us. So even though you and your son are going through this, God is still right there. Think of the poem "Footprints". Also think of the story of Job in the bible. God never left.

Also let him know that no ones perfect and neither is he so dont feel embarrased, like he's a failure, or like he's less of a person than someone else. God never wants His people to go through addictions or anything. God just wants us to call on Him.

well thats my 2 cents. More like 5 i guess. Take care mom and feel free to ask us for advice anytime. We've all been through a lot.

Take care.; ▶ Reply to This