WHY DO WOMEN FLIP ON & STEREOTYPE MEN SAYING THEY DON'T WANT TO BE IN THEIR CHILD'S LIFE?

[Phillip Kinard]

I read the comments that people left on Constance Clowney's ? but noboby kept it Real with her. There is a flip side to the coin, two sides of the story.Who knows what went down between the mother & father... or the father's situation. Don't get it twisted, a man MUST take care of his seed. If he don't have the doe GO OUT & GET IT BY ALL MEANS!!! Now, it could be a # of reasons why dad don't come thru... I say Fu*k tradition, for example: Tradition says, no matter what, pick up the phone & call your baby. But Yo, why can't she pick up the phone, dial his # & say here talk to your father. The mother is no more IMPORTANT than the father. It should be 50/50 all across the board. WORD!! I don't know who was the Crab that gased women up & gave them all the rights, that's some Bulls*%t... However I do agree that communication between the mother & father is neccessary. To all the REAL MEN, you NEED to understand this when it comes to women: There's only one of You & over a million of them. If you can't see eye-to-eye with her, BOUNCE!! But do what you can do. Something is better than nothing @ all. Besides, if you don't you'll go to JAIL...LOL. Yo, to some it all up.. STOP judging the father before you get an understanding of what Really went down... I also grew up without my father. Love your mother but she ain't always RIGHT. & give dad a little more than just the big piece of chicken....LOL Peace
Tags: kinard, phillip

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[Nikki]

I have an instance where I've always kept the door open... My child's father waited until she was about 4 years old to be physically present and/or request to keep her for any period of time. He tried to fault me for moving to NC. I had to do what was best for my situation and our daughter. However, I kept the communication open and my moves known and made return trips back home as often as I could afford time-wise from work and financially.
Last year was the last time she saw her father and he rarely keeps in touch now (not calling and igging may calls---vm mssgs are left but not returned). He and his wife kept her for spring break last March for about a week. The time allowed her to get to know her dad and step-mom somemore and she enjoyed the visit from her own words. However, when it was time for her to come home it was more of a struggle and hassle... I have always returned back to OGB or the immediate area over the years since moving to NC and have always offered arrangement to see his child. However, I was without transportation over the timeframe he was keeping our daughter. My father made arrangements for me to get a rental so I could meet him halfway between SC and NC (OGB to GSO). However the following weekend I was not able to make that concession. Instead of working out an amicable resolution and/or driving our child home for the one and only time in ever... he threatened to keep her. I knew it was for selfish reasons and an attempt to bully me. As many times as I'd bent over backwards and made arrangements when he didn't put forth any effort over the years, I felt he owed me this one time of understanding, not method of control. I was forced to call OGB PD (he thought I forgot my roots when I left the Burg? Shiiiii..... I got friends in high and low places e'ry where lemme tell ya!!). Granted my child was home in less than the 4 hour drive... It was not fair to anyone (our child, me, him, nor his wife whom rode along). He caught attitude with me but I had to let him know he cannot continue to bully me when I am the one whom claims sole daily responsibility of our beautiful (check out da pics) 9-yr old daughter. He barely calls to check on her and she has not seen him since. I do pick up the phone to call from time-to-time (in no way to be considered harrassing) but he iggs the calls or doesn't return them. Although he is an older man, I feel I carry the 'responsible parent' hat a further distance than he even makes an attempt to do. What's your take on that?

[Shalanda McLean Fox]

I am in complete agreeance with not causing strife between the father and the kid. I was blessed to have one child who is now 20, her father did absolutely nothing for her other than the occasional call when he felt the need. I never said anything about him, always drove her to SC to see him, and would always purchase a gift for her from him on her birthday. My daughter finally caught on when she was nine. She graduated from high school with honors in 2007 and I asked that he and his wife attend the graduation and the party that we had planned for her. It was all set until the invitations went out, on the invite my daughter wanted my husband listed in the section where it states the parents. Her biological father felt this was a disrespect to him to have to be listed with someone else. It all came down to the fact that my husband has been there since my daughter was seven, has been a part of every major event, sat with her when she was sick, went to every recital, ballgame, dance, tea, you name it, paid for proms, dance recitals, etc. And she felt that this is what made him her father. So in the end, her biological chose not to come, nor did he call her and say congrats.

The beginning of 2009 he called and started texting her regularly, I thought they were building a relationship until he turned around and did the same thing as usual. HE constantly makes promises and never comes through. Also, he has the habit of trying to place blame on me for them not having a relationship. I have always made sure he had our address, sent pictures, copies of report cards and never once have I asked him for one penny. All I wanted was for him to know his child.

My advice to the men out there would be don't make promises to your children and then fall through. If you are going to buy skates then just buy them. Never say I am going to do it next week and then it does not happen instead say soon. Kids remember everything you ever say to them, and they also remember when you disappoint them and when you make them happy.

I also say to the women, don't bad mouth the father. In the end, your child is half of them so if you say he is a whatever remember that your child is probaly wondering does that also apply to them.